Suddenly Tucson is awash in Burger Joints. And I don't mean Burger King and the like, I mean places you wouldn't mind spending seven dollars on a burger. This is fabulous news. Who doesn't like a good burger?
Communists. That's who.
No matter. Here's my thoughts on the best spots to grab a pile of hot beef in Tucson. (Insert your own joke here.)
1. Zin Burger-Sam Fox's restaurants don't always work. But when they work, they really work. They've expanded to Phoenix and soon to the east side of the Baked Apple. Fine burgers cooked to order, tasty salads, shakes that could kill a man. Great stuff and still the king.
2. Culver's-Just opened and narrowly nips In-n-Out. Great burgers with a good, not overwhelming variety. I like the smoky, crispy bits around the edges of the patties. I love the frozen custard. What is it? Who cares! It's great! They also serve crinkle-cut fries, of which I am a fan.
3. In-n-Out-Great burgers. Great fries. The ordering process is still enough of a secret code that it annoys me. But the employees are universally cheerful and ease you (meaning me) through it. Just a hair behind Culvers, but I like the variety at Culvers. I also still remember that at base In-n-Out is owned by right wing religious nutjobs that used to put bible quotes at the bottom of the cups. But they make a strong burger.
4. BK's-Yes the primary business is tacos, caramelos, etc. But they also make awesome burgers with killer crispy fries. Mesquite smoke adds a nice edge. The major failing? The service is incredibly up and down. Sometimes it's great. More often it's up and down. Everyone there is super pretty in a music video of five years ago way. I keep expecting the whole place to erupt in song and dance like a Bollywood movie. But the burgers are good.
5. Five Guys Burgers-Very good burgers. Two things. I don't understand the peanuts. Not that I don't like them. But I don't understand them. And this is a menu where, for me, too much is left open. There are simply too many options. I don't mind having the option of leaving off this or that or adding the odd condiment or garnish. Hell, everything's better with bacon, right? But to some extent, I want my restaurant to tell me what it is they like on a burger. I don't eat burgers enough times a week to just happen across my favorite combination through trial and error. But that's me. If that sort of mix and match freedom doesn't scare you, you'll like it there.
6. Monkeyburger-Same general concept as Zin Burger. Same arty pretensions. Great burgers. The service? Ehh. Not so much. The last few times I've been there, they've been creaking under the weight of their own success. But they're local, they're young, and their hearts are in the right place. Definitely worth a trip.
7. Fuddruckers-Certainly you laugh. But if you want to feed a family quality food, this is a good spot. Freshly ground beef cooked to order. Buns baked on site. A huge tub of liquid jalapeno cheese for your fries. Video game! Random crap on the walls! Hooray!
8. Shari's-It's gone, but we remember. A little shack with charbroiled burgers. Twenty or thirty flavors of milkshake. The very taste of a Tucson summer. I miss you Shari's.
Now, if only they would come up with their version of The Good Morning Burger!
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